Grindr users on Scottish independence

I’ve spent the past couple of days asking several hundred Grindr users in Edinburgh whether they believe Scotland should be an independent country. Replies were of variable quality. Here is a representative sample:

Me: Good afternoon, HORNY. Do you believe Scotland should be an independent country?
HORNY: No
Me: Good evening, Luv2suckbigcok. Do you believe Scotland should be an independent country?
Luv2suckbigcok: Yes
Me: Good evening, Got A Map?. Do you believe Scotland should be an independent country?
Got A Map?: Fuck knows
Me: Good evening, Jesus. Do you believe Scotland should be an independent country?
Jesus: Yez
Jesus: Yes
Me: Good afternoon, #voteyes. Do you believe Scotland should be an independent country?
#voteyes: Erm.. yes
Me: Good morning, Leith. Do you believe Scotland should be an independent country?
Leith: Of course noy
Leith:  Ot
Leith: Not!!
Me: Good morning, Grindr user. Do you believe Scotland should be an independent country?
Grindr user: No
Grindr user: Thats a massive joke and nothing but broken promises
Grindr user: I study economy and am sure of it in 100 %
Me: Good morning, J. Do you believe Scotland should be an independent country?
J: Morning, although my heart says yes my risk adverse nature and head overrules that so I'll be voting no on Thursday.
Me: Good morning, Pal lap. Do you believe Scotland should be an independent country?
Pal lap: I believe Scotland could be a successful independent country
It's got a people with a strong cultural identity with a great history of innovation and creativity in a country of many untapped natural resources
One of the most valuable assets on the planet is water
Me: Good afternoon, BarcelonaKisser. Do you believe Scotland should be an independent country?
BarcelonaKisser: Good question.. My personal opinión is that better together than sepárate, we are not in 19th century, u know? The world is global.. Bigger countries better options to survive, but i respect any democrátic decisión. In Catalonia they dont let is vote, thats worse!
Me: Good morning, Boone 47. Do you believe Scotland should be an independent country?
Boone 47: Absolutely not, there is no valid reason to leave the union and the Yes campaign is being badly misleading when they say there would be no significant changes
Boone 47: It would take at least a generation for an independent Scotland to be able to provide the level of services and investment we currently have on revenue it could raise itself
Me: Good morning, Visiting :). Do you believe Scotland should be an independent country?
Visiting :): Helloo
Visiting :): Sorry for delay
Visiting :): I do in fact believe it should be chained to the union for all the suffering it brings them
Me: Good evening, loneliestheart. Do you believe Scotland should be an independent country?
loneliestheart: I don't like politics & never believe in politician. We pay them to tell us the bullshit & lies. I don't trust big cats in west minister neither the lier & cheater in Holyrood. I love my country whatever happen in Thursday I hope to be for the best for people of Scotland.
Me: Good morning, New Town. Do you believe Scotland should be an independent country?
New Town: Do you always start your conversations with so contentious an issue?
Me: Yes, New Town. Yes I do.
New Town: Right then, Question Mark. Well, if you must know, I'm a pretty firm No Thanks, but I really don't see why it makes any difference.
Me: Thank you for your input, New Town.
New Town: You're ... welcome?
New Town: Did I just get polled?
Me: Good afternoon, Yes = doomed. Do you believe Scotland should be an independent country?
Yes = doomed: No I don't , but tbh I'm fed up to the back teeth of the whole thing and either or , I'm voting no , but if yes wins heyho , doing my head in
Me: Good morning, 😎😎. Do you believe Scotland should be an independent country?
😎😎: I don't no man!!
😎😎: I think It's bad for my
Me: Good morning, Meet now.... Do you believe Scotland should be an independent country?
Meet now...: Not made my mind up 100% yet!!
Meet now...: U looking to meet older guys then are ya
Me: Good morning, MILK ME. Do you believe Scotland should be an independent country?
MILK ME: I'm not on her for politics
Me: Good morning, NTW PLEASE. Do you believe Scotland should be an independent country?
NTW PLEASE: NO TIME WASTERS
or
NOT TO WORRY
and never discuss politics religion or money with strangers
Me: Good morning, James. Do you believe Scotland should be an independent country?
James: Why is it gonna make cocks bigger or summit or group fucks be even better
Me: Good morning, Top. Do you believe Scotland should be an independent country?
Top: LOL ... Have you never been told never discuss Politics or Religion with strangers .... you'll just fall out!
Top: Wanna shag?
Me: Good evening, Dilan Siegfried. Do you believe Scotland should be an independent country?
Dilan Siegfried: Dont really care enther way dood
Dilan Siegfried: I just want to suck a nice cock
Me: Good morning, Grindr user. Do you believe Scotland should be an independent country?
Grindr user: No face= no chat
Me: Good evening, Young Lad. Do you believe Scotland should be an independent country?
Young Lad: Fuck off
Young Lad: How weird
Young Lad: Why not be normal?
Me: Good afternoon, Discrete. Do you believe Scotland should be an independent country?
Discrete: Not my type
Me: Good afternoon, ♧. Do you believe Scotland should be an independent country?
♧: U start with a boring conversation. I believe u are boring too.so.... next!
Me: Good morning, MORNING FUN ??. Do you believe Scotland should be an independent country?
MORNING FUN ??: I do do you
Me: I do. Thank you for your input, MORNING FUN ??
MORNING FUN ??: Np
MORNING FUN ??: I  do like to input
Me: Good evening, V horny. Do you believe Scotland should be an independent country?
V horny: Why
Me: We value your input, V horny.
V horny: Yes but maybe in a next 10 year's
Me: Good morning, Jay. Do you believe Scotland should be an independent country?
Jay: What ü on PAL?
Me: I'm high on political consensus, Jay.
Jay: Aw well go way
Me: Good evening, Meet Now !!!. Do you believe Scotland should be an independent country?
Meet Now !!!: Hey
Meet Now !!!: You looking to meet
Me: We are looking for your input on the future of the country, Meet Now !!!.
Meet Now !!!: Can u get yo royal British hotel we can give input in your asse
Me: Good morning, Grindr user. Do you believe Scotland should be an independent country?
Grindr user: Y?
Me: Better Y than N. Thank you for your input.
Grindr user: This is weird
Me: Good morning, Grindr user. Do you believe Scotland should be an independent country?
Grindr user: I think it's wonderful that the referendum has inspired open debate but disgusting that people think it gives them the right to ask society's taboo question such as how they might vote in a political situation.
Me: Thank you for your input, Grindr user. We'll put you down as a 'yes'.
Grindr user: Dick off

STATISTICS:

The number of people I’ve questioned who are still present in my Grindr message history – that is, excluding the many people who blocked me – appears to add up to 655. I’ve divided their reactions into…


NO: 114

YES: 101

Undecided: 24

Other opinion: 20

Indifference: 15

Evasion: 38

Bemusement: 13

Amusement: 2

Too horny to answer: 6

General rejection: 4

Did not respond: 318

So there you have it. When only decisive opinions are taken into account, Grindr votes NO to independence, with a 54-46% split. If this is reflected in the results of tomorrow’s referendum, we can assume the headless torsos have taken over Scotland and there’s nothing you can do to stop it.

(The eagerly anticipated machotrouts.tumblr.com endorsement goes to a YES vote. I am a headful torso.)

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