Welsh Grindr users on the 2015 general election

A general election will be held in the United Kingdom on 7 May 2015, and to resolve the problem traditional polling outlets have had calling the result, I polled Scottish Grindr users.

This didnโ€™t sate my crazed polling urge, and so I visited Wales. This did not go as smoothly. Here is a representative sample of the 629 Grindr users in and around Cardiff I polled before they got me banned:

Me: Good evening, Welsh bottom. Which party do you intend to vote for in the forthcoming general election?
Welsh bottom: Labour
Me: Good evening, A proper gent. Which party do you intend to vote for in the forthcoming general election?
A proper gent: Tory
Me: Good evening, Jas. Which party do you intend to vote for in the forthcoming general election?
Jas: Good evening, not going to give that one away they are all driving me mad at present so may be random and vote the green party
Me: Good morning, Fun fur. Which party do you intend to vote for in the forthcoming general election?
Fun fur: Unusual question on here
Me: Be that as it may, Fun fur, do you have an answer?
Fun fur: Lib Dem
Me: Good evening, Any black?. Which party do you intend to vote for in the forthcoming general election?
Any black?: UKIP! Wbu
Me: Good afternoon, Spunk lover!!. Which party do you intend to vote for in the forthcoming general election?
Spunk lover!!: Not UKIP
Me: Good afternoon, Liam. Which party do you intend to vote for in the forthcoming general election?
Liam: Good afternoon to you, I'll be voting Plaid Cymru ๐Ÿ˜Š
Me: Thank you for your input, Liam.
Liam: Croeso :)
Me: Good afternoon, Lick your feet.. Which party do you intend to vote for in the forthcoming general election?
Lick your feet.: Lol
Me: Is that an option on the ballot paper, Lick your feet.?
Lick your feet.: Fuck off.
Me: Good evening, Ricki. Which party do you intend to vote for in the forthcoming general election?
Ricki: Good question. I'm still undecided. Either Liberal or Tory.
Me: Which of the two parties do you currently feel most inclined to support?
Ricki: Probably Tory - they're fiscally more responsible
Me: Good evening, Horny hung. Which party do you intend to vote for in the forthcoming general election?
Horny hung: No idea yet as they all promise more than they deliver, and screw us over in the process with taxation and cuts
Me: Good morning, Discreet. Which party do you intend to vote for in the forthcoming general election?
Discreet: I intend to vote for either Labour or the green party. Feeling meh about the election but I will vote regardless.
Me: Which of those two parties do you currently feel most inclined to support?
Discreet: Green party aligns more with my ideals. Labour would be a more tactical decision to help nullify the threat of another Tory leadership
Discreet: Probs Labour I guess
Me: Good afternoon, Pure gym. Which party do you intend to vote for in the forthcoming general election?
Pure gym: Bump
Pure gym: Bnp
Me: Good afternoon, Joseph. Which party do you intend to vote for in the forthcoming general election?
Joseph: I actually haven't made my mind up as of late. Some of each parts agenders allure me to them however I'm torn on multiple point on who to vote for. Yourself?
Me: I am undecided, but also officially neutral in my capacity as Grindr's resident pollster.
Me: Which party, if any, do you currently feel most inclined to support?
Joseph: It's neck and neck between the whole opposed UKIP and conservatives. I think. There again could just vote randomly :') who knows.
Joseph: Wholly*
Me: Good evening, V.discreet&bttm. Which party do you intend to vote for in the forthcoming general election?
V.discreet&bttm: Haven't decided yet ;0
Me: Which party, if any, do you currently feel most inclined to support?
V.discreet&bttm: Not Tories or ukip ,they are for the selfish
Me: Good evening, Fuck Now. Which party do you intend to vote for in the forthcoming general election?
Fuck Now: Weirdo
Me: Good evening, Yanto. Which party do you intend to vote for in the forthcoming general election?
Yanto: I dont i mark non of above
Me: Good evening, Ass eating slav. Which party do you intend to vote for in the forthcoming general election?
Ass eating slav: conservative.i would like to vote for but i will be voting labour
Me: Good afternoon, Matti. Which party do you intend to vote for in the forthcoming general election?
Matti: Sorry but I don't really come on here to discuss politics
Me: What do you come on here for, Matti?
Matti: A fun time
Me: Disclosing your favoured political party to a stranger on Grindr is what I consider a fun time, Matti.
Matti: Well it's not mine
Me: Good evening, God I'm bored. Which party do you intend to vote for in the forthcoming general election?
God I'm bored: Are you
Serious get a
Life
Me: Good afternoon, Rugby boy. Which party do you intend to vote for in the forthcoming general election?
Rugby boy: I'm not voting because I don't have and interested on who are standing, I think they have mixed view and half of them don't know what they are going to look at and not one will help the country
Me: Good morning, Condoms only. Which party do you intend to vote for in the forthcoming general election?
Condoms only: The one with the biggest dick
Me: Good evening, Hung&hardโœŠ๐Ÿ’ฆ. Which party do you intend to vote for in the forthcoming general election?
Hung&hardโœŠ๐Ÿ’ฆ: No one. There all a bunch of fags ๐Ÿ˜‚
Me: Good evening, Fitboii. Which party do you intend to vote for in the forthcoming general election?
Fitboii: Not made my mind up yet you going to persuade me. What u into? Age pics?
Me: I am into political consensus, Fitboii.
Fitboii: Ok let's hook up then. Any more pics? Age ?
Me: Good afternoon, John. Which party do you intend to vote for in the forthcoming general election?
John: Already seen this shit from a Scottish guy. Trying to replicate it?
Me: Good afternoon, Want a hard xxx. Which party do you intend to vote for in the forthcoming general election?
Want a hard xxx: Cock.
Me: Thank you for your input, Want a hard xxx.
Want a hard xxx: What's with the election crap
Me: That's democracy, Want a hard xxx.
Want a hard xxx: Have u got a hard cock
Grindr Guy: Hi
Me: Good afternoon, Grindr Guy. Which party do you intend to vote for in the forthcoming general election?
Grindr Guy: None
Me: Thank you for your input, Grindr Guy.
Grindr Guy: Fuk off
Grindr Guy: Show me ur dick
Need fun: Hi dude
Me: Good afternoon, Need fun. Which party do you intend to vote for in the forthcoming general election?
Need fun: Plaid cymru wbu
Me: I don't vote in Wales, though Plaid Cymru seem like an agreeable bunch
Me: Thank you for your input, Need fun.
Need fun: Aww cool its hot 2day. R u horny
Need fun: Any pics
Me: Good evening, ๐Ÿ‰ Tom ๐Ÿ‰. Which party do you intend to vote for in the forthcoming general election?
๐Ÿ‰ Tom ๐Ÿ‰: Lmao
๐Ÿ‰ Tom ๐Ÿ‰: Why
Me: I am on a mass polling expedition, ๐Ÿ‰ Tom ๐Ÿ‰.
๐Ÿ‰ Tom ๐Ÿ‰: I'm torn between two
๐Ÿ‰ Tom ๐Ÿ‰: You?
Me: So am I, though a good pollster couldn't possibly disclose which two.
๐Ÿ‰ Tom ๐Ÿ‰: So why ask
Me: I didn't ask me, ๐Ÿ‰ Tom ๐Ÿ‰.
๐Ÿ‰ Tom ๐Ÿ‰: You don't need to put the balls all the time dude
Me: Good evening, I need a top. Which party do you intend to vote for in the forthcoming general election?
I need a top: What has the election got to do with u wanting a top
Me: I don't need a top, I need a top.
I need a top: Look at the msg u sent me
Me: I don't know what you could possibly mean, I need a top.
I need a top: Should ur first msg read
Me: Do you have a favoured political party or not, I need a top?
I need a top: Good evening, u need a top. Which party do you intend to vote for in the forthcoming general election
I need a top: Ok im bottom are you top
Me: Neither of those are options on the ballot paper, I need a top.
Me: Good afternoon, Gym and mates. Which party do you intend to vote for in the forthcoming general election?
Gym and mates: Why should I tell u
Me: I am a very trustworthy character, Gym and mates.
Gym and mates: No your not u wanted to know my vote
Me: I still do, Gym and mates.
Gym and mates: What gym and whee
Me: Only you can know that, Gym and mates.
Gym and mates: What gym and where
Me: Only you can know that, Gym and mates.
Gym and mates: Piss off reporting you
Me: Good afternoon, Valkyrie Cain. Which party do you intend to vote for in the forthcoming general election?
Valkyrie Cain: ......
Valkyrie Cain: Pretty sure that has nothing to do with some random faceless on grindr
Me: Thank you for your input, Valkyrie Cain.
Valkyrie Cain: Gross
Valkyrie Cain: Reporting for spam
Valkyrie Cain: Are you really using grindr as a way to create some kind of post on what gays want in the general election
Valkyrie Cain: It's pretty dumb
Me: Good morning, Grindr Guy. Which party do you intend to vote for in the forthcoming general election?
Grindr Guy: Why do you want to know
Grindr Guy: You tell me who you will be voting for and I will tell you
Me: I'm afraid I am officially neutral for the time being.
Grindr Guy: Well don't ask other people then
Grindr Guy: Fruit cake
Me: Thank you for your input, Grindr Guy.
Grindr Guy: Your strange
Grindr Guy: For your information I have just checked the terms and conditions and what you are doing is against the rules. I have taken a screen shot of what you asked me and posted to the technical support

(I got banned after that. Truly the whistleblower the Grindr community has been crying out for.)

STATISTICS:

Of the 629 Grindr users I questioned, 323 responses were counted. 150 of these users settled on a party. Here are their results:

30.7% (46)     Labour
24.0% (36)     Conservative
14.7% (22)     Green
10.7% (16)     Plaid Cymru
8.0% (12)       UKIP
4.7% (7)         Liberal Democrat
2.7% (4)         Monster Raving Loony
2.7% (4)         BNP
1.3% (2)         SNP (?)
0.7% (1)         TUSC

(In addition, a count of positive references that werenโ€™t votes โ€“ undecided voters mulling over multiple parties, second preferences etc โ€“ comes out as 10 Labour, 8 Green, 4 Lib Dem, 4 Conservative, 4 Plaid, and 3 UKIP.)

A further 173 users did not settle on a party, and Iโ€™ve divided their responses as follows:

32    Undecided
27    No intention of voting
25    General evasion
17    Answered to tell me theyโ€™re not going to answer
16    Not eligible to vote
14    Angry or indignant (but hadnโ€™t got round to blocking me)
11    Bewilderment
8      Incomprehensible
6      Sarcastic answers (1 UKIP, 1 Lib Dem, 4 non-parties)
5      Too horny to engage politically
4      Ignored question to specifically reject me
4      โ€œAnyone butโ€ฆโ€ (3 mentions of UKIP, 1 Conservative, 1 right-wing parties in general)
3      Intend to spoil ballot
1      Indifference

(This leaves 40 users who presumably blocked me by the time the results were counted. Any responses they may have given are not counted here.)


In conclusion, Grindr users in Wales look set to vote much the same way as everybody else in Wales, with a comfortable but not overwhelming victory for Welsh Labour. Perhaps the most notable difference is inflated Green support, though seemingly not to the detriment of the right-wing vote. They also donโ€™t seem as keen on the SNP as the respondents to my Edinburgh poll. I donโ€™t know why.

Addendum: Grindr unbanned me while I was putting together this post. Your thoughts and prayers during this hard time made all the difference.

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