Which Ann Widdecombe Defender Are You?

Ann Widdecombe is currently a popular housemate in Celebrity Big Brother. What’s YOUR reason for wanting her to win? Choose from the options below:

  1. “Yes, she has terrible views, but it’s reductive to judge her solely on the things she thinks, says, and does”

  2. “Yes, she has terrible views, but homophobia is just a charming personality quirk”

  3. “Yes, she has terrible views, but she’s just a harmless innocent little old lady, it’s not like she was an MP or a cabinet minister or anything like that”

  4. “Yes, she has terrible views, but at least she doesn’t apologise for them”

  5. “Yes, she has terrible views, but this is Year of the WOMAN, and it’s only fitting that it be won by someone who hates women”

  6. “Yes, she has terrible views, but challenging her on them, no matter how graciously or tactfully, is victimising her”

  7. “Yes, she has terrible views, but as a former politician who has held more power and influence than anybody else in the show, she’s a real underdog”

  8. “Yes, she has terrible views, but she obfuscates them with vacuous platitudes about being kind to others, and I am very easily fooled”

  9. “Yes, she has terrible views, but you’ve got to respect the long, successful career she’s had trying to enforce those terrible views on others”

  10. “Yes, she has terrible views, but people who stand up for LGBT rights are SO annoying”

  11. “Yes, she has terrible views, but at least she doesn’t push them in your face, except for that one time when she devoted her 23-year parliamentary career to enshrining them in law”

  12. “Yes, she has terrible views, but that doesn’t mean the person who is overwhelmingly defined by those views is terrible”

  13. “Yes, she has terrible views, but it’s not like she JUDGES the people whose rights she has actively, relentlessly sought to deny”

  14. “Yes, she has terrible views, but she’s self-assured, and I’m insecure enough to find that an admirable trait in and of itself”

  15. “Yes, she has terrible views, but the REAL victims are people who are challenged for their terrible views”

  16. “Yes, she has terrible views, but it’s really impressive that this show managed to book someone who’s spent most of the past decade as a professional reality TV star”

  17. “Yes, she has terrible views, but if shy fragile outsider Amanda Barrie and radical establishment threat Wayne Sleep OBE don’t feel personally attacked by her, why should anybody else?”

  18. “Yes, she has terrible views, but I’M secure in my sexuality, and can’t conceive of anyone more vulnerable than myself”

  19. “Yes, she has terrible views, but I perceive the absolute mildest challenge to those views to be a militant display of tubthumping”

  20. “Yes, she has terrible views, but it’s just an OPINION!”

  21. “Yes, she has terrible views, but at least she’s prepared to tolerate people with differing views, unless they fight for, express, or hold them in any meaningful regard”

  22. “Yes, she has terrible views, but in spite of constant overwhelming evidence to the contrary, I still like to pretend conservatives are an oppressed minority in 2018”

  23. “Yes, she has terrible views, but we have gay rights now anyway, which is clearly proof that nothing good can come of challenging people like Ann”

  24. “Yes, she has terrible views, but she’s so CUTE! Patronising the elderly is ADORABLE!”

  25. “Yes, she has terrible views, but we should take people as we find them, and if we find that they’re homophobes, well, we should just ignore that”

  26. “Yes, she has terrible views, but hypothetically, what if the gay person in the house who disagrees with her intolerance had ironically failed to tolerate HER? The fact that he does isn’t really important to me, please just go along with my interesting thought experiment”

  27. “Yes, she has terrible views, but we should respect our wise, vulnerable elders. The poor lady is nearly as old as Donald Trump”

  28. “Yes, she has terrible views, but live and let live! I don’t know what irony is”

  29. “Yes, she has terrible views, but what if NOT having terrible views has gone TOO FAR?”

  30. “Yes, she has terrible views, but people are so easily offended these days. Why can’t they get upset about something that matters, like Shane Jenek wearing Speedos?”

  31. “Yes, she has terrible views, but she reminds me of my disgusting bigoted hate-filled grandmother, who I love”

  32. “Yes, she has terrible views, but I also voted for Coleen Nolan, so I’m in deep at this point”

  33. “Yes, she has terrible views, but I’m only against homophobia until anybody actually stands up to homophobia in any way whatsoever”

  34. “Yes, she has terrible views, but at least she opposes the infliction of pain as a source of entertainment. As she can attest, it should only be the source of a political career”

  35. “Yes, she has terrible views, but someone from the Apprentice called her a cunt”

  36. “Yes, she has terrible views, but making me question my moral dissonance is a personal attack”

  37. “Yes, she has terrible views, but at least she’s much more homophobic and had much more actual political influence than that awful Winston McKenzie”

  38. “Yes, she has terrible views, but her political career is over. It’s good and in no way disturbing that she’s reinvented herself as a harmless entertainment figure”

  39. “Yes, she has terrible views, but I have Stockholm syndrome after 8 years of Tory rule”

  40. “Yes, she has terrible views, but we should judge her by what she’s done IN THE HOUSE, where her homophobia has only manifested as constant passive-aggressive eyerolls, spurious nomination reasons, and a generally uncomfortable, oppressive atmosphere”

  41. “Yes, she has terrible views, but I admire her conviction. It would be bad if she just had those views a bit… but that she EXTREMELY has them, is actually very good”

  42. “Yes, she has terrible views, but Maggie Oliver arrested me for sex trafficking”

  43. “Yes, she has terrible views, but this isn’t ABOUT politics. The fact that a significant proportion of the housemates and the public are upset with her closest rival for disagreeing with her views in absurdly courteous and diplomatic terms is NOTHING to do with politics”

  44. “Yes, she has terrible views, but so do I”

  45. “Yes, she has terrible views, but she had a point when she said we should be more like Mother Teresa (colonialist con artist) and less like Jordan (previous winner of the show Ann is currently competing in)”

  46. “Yes, she has terrible views, but I am SICK of the harrassment from imaginary gay activists constantly abusing me for liking her”

  47. “Yes, she has terrible views, but, like, she’s old, she probably has Alzheimer’s or something. Maybe we ALL have Alzheimer’s and we’re actually misremembering everything she’s done, huh? Did you think of that? Did you?”

  48. “Yes, she has terrible views, but I am legally obliged to state that Ann isn’t here to defend herself, so let’s move on”

  49. “Yes, she has terrible views, but gay people upset to see broad adulation for a former MP who voted against equalised age of consent laws are just oversensitive snowflakes. Why are they taking it PERSONALLY that a large sector of the voting audience loves someone who thinks you should be convicted rapists for sleeping with 20-year-olds?”

  50. “Yes, she has terrible views, but I’m one of those anthropomorphised unborn fetuses you get in anti-abortion propaganda cartoons”

  51. “Yes, she has terrible views, but I want her to win to stick it to the gay activists who call her fans homophobic! Voting for a homophobe specifically to upset gay people will prove that I am not, personally, a homophobe”

  52. “Yes, she has terrible views, but stop TALKING about it! I don’t want to KNOW!”

  53. “Yes, she has terrible views, but laws against the promotion of homosexuality could have taken down this bad Tumblr, so every cloud and all that”

  54. “Yes, she has terrible views, but how boring would it be if EVERYONE agreed, and gay people were ALL free to live their lives without fear of persecution from ANYONE?”

  55. “Yes, she has terrible views, but I refuse to stand in the way of Big Brother’s long, proud history of bestowing imaginary redemption arcs on terrible people who have done nothing whatsoever to redeem themselves”

  56. “Yes, she has terrible views, but it’s just an entertainment show, and gay viewers who are unsettled to see a mainstream uprising of contempt for them should shut up and let the rest of us enjoy it”

  57. “Yes, she has terrible views, but you have to understand… January 2018 was a very different time”

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