Scottish Grindr users on the 2019 general election

On 12 December 2019, the United Kingdom will elect its 58th Parliament. I’ve previously polled Grindr users on the 2017 election, in Scotland and England, and the 2015 election, in Scotland and Wales, as well as on Scottish independence, Brexit, this year’s European election, and the 2016 US election. This time, I asked 619 Grindr users across the Central Belt of Scotland, in and around Edinburgh and Glasgow, who they’re supporting in this year’s general election.

The following is a sample of the replies.

(Identifiable faces in profile pictures have been censored.)

Me: Good afternoon, Dirtytalk πŸ˜‰. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming general election?
Dirtytalk πŸ˜‰: Really dude?
Me: Good evening, ArseLickerπŸ‘…. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming general election?
ArseLickerπŸ‘…: SNP
Me: Good evening, Face-Fuck me. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming general election?
Face-Fuck me: Tories
Me: Good morning, skint n hung. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming general election?
skint n hung: Labour of course
Me: Good morning, need dick badly. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming general election?
need dick badly: Sorry not 4 me but have a good one
Me: Good evening, bit of a πŸ“sukr. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming general election?
bit of a πŸ“sukr: Dunno yet, the jury is still out
Me: Do you have any preference at this stage?
bit of a πŸ“sukr: Green party is appealing, but feels like a wasted vote
Me: Good evening, 2 horny bears. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming general election?
2 horny bears: Not sure they are all bams!!
Me: Good afternoon, Shaved Jambo. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming general election?
Shaved Jambo: Only party for Scotland SNP all the way
Me: Good evening, Strong Scotch. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming general election?
Strong Scotch: None of your business
Strong Scotch: I use this app for Sex
Not for discussion of my political stance
Me: Good evening, cuddle cub. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming general election?
cuddle cub: Hahaha! I know who I'm voting for. Do you?
Me: I don't, cuddle cub. Only Grindr can help me resolve this.
cuddle cub: I'll be voting lib Dems or SNP and I can tell you for why.
cuddle cub: But either way my seat is pretty safely SNP
cuddle cub: I'm not voting the big 2 because of their brexit stance. I don't agree with a lot of the greens energy and science policy, I don't agree with a lot of LD financial policy, and I'm not sold on Scottish independence either
Me: Good afternoon, Gordon πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming general election?
Gordon πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ: Ah hello, I've been expecting you. Currently undecided; usually a labour voter but open to changing that if tactical voting will keep the conservatives out.
Me: Who are you open to changing to, Gordon πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ?
Gordon πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ: SNP, I suppose. Lib dem would be a wasted vote imo.
Me: Who do you currently feel most inclined to, between Labour and the SNP?
Gordon πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ: Probably labour. SNP don't seem to have any long term plans other than another indy ref
Me: Good evening, Pleasure btm. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming general election?
Pleasure btm: None that u will be influencing anyway thats for sure
Me: Good afternoon, Fun times. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming general election?
Fun times: Am not none of them to be trusted people voted out in the referendum and the result wasn't respected amongst all the scaremongering
Me: Good evening, 🎭. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming general election?
🎭: I'm an EU immigrant. I don't get the right to vote unless I spend £1.3k to become a british citizen
🎭: Taxation without representation is the card I've been dealt
Bi cur Dad: Hello
Me: Hello, Bi cur Dad. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming general election?
Bi cur Dad: Any that will ensure a humiliating defeat for the lying party currently in power. Yourself ?
Me: I am undecided, Bi cur Dad. Only Grindr can help me resolve this.
Me: Which party do you think is most likely to ensure a humiliating defeat for the lying party currently in power?
Bi cur Dad: Haha an excellent place to look for advice.
Bi cur Dad: In my constituency probably Labour
Me: Good morning, πŸ†πŸ’¦πŸ€€. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming general election?
πŸ†πŸ’¦πŸ€€: None. They'll all wankers
Me: Good evening, ΕœΟƒβ“¨Κ™α—π’Ύ. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming general election?
ΕœΟƒβ“¨Κ™α—π’Ύ: mmm probably SNP or greens
ΕœΟƒβ“¨Κ™α—π’Ύ: it's a shame Westminster still uses FPTP
Me: It is a shame. Do you have any preference between those two parties?
ΕœΟƒβ“¨Κ™α—π’Ύ: yeah the Green Party
ΕœΟƒβ“¨Κ™α—π’Ύ: but I guess me and thousands others will be voting tactically again
ΕœΟƒβ“¨Κ™α—π’Ύ: so I will probably end up voting SNP
Me: Good morning, Fit Silver Fox. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming general election?
Fit Silver Fox: It's a secret ballot ... the clue's in the name!
Me: Thank you anyway, Fit Silver Fox.
Fit Silver Fox: Thank you.
Me: Good evening, Dom 4 Sub. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming general election?
Dom 4 Sub: Boris Johnson, let's get this shit done
Me: Thank you for your input, Dom 4 Sub.
Dom 4 Sub: Im a Dominant too looking for submissive slut
Me: Good evening, foot fun ???. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming general election?
foot fun ???: Why does that matter
Me: The future of this country is at stake, foot fun ???
foot fun ???: Yes love feet
Me: Good afternoon, tight rn. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming general election?
tight rn: whitever yin gies free wifi
Me: Free broadband is in the Labour manifesto.
tight rn: am staying clear eh that... ken whit al be green
Me: Thank you for your input, tight rn.
tight rn: Nae bother
Me: Good morning, hungdilf. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming general election?
hungdilf: The twink btm party
Me: Are they fielding candidates this year?
hungdilf: I hope so
Me: Thank you for your input, hungdilf.
hungdilf: That's what the last twink btm said!
Me: Good evening, Grg. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming general election?
Grg: Probs snp tbh
Grg: Wbu?
Me: I am undecided, Grg. Only Grindr can help me resolve this.
Me: Thank you for your input.
Grg: Imo if ur in scotland u may as well vote for Scotland
Grg: Plus my mate knows Nicola sturgeon and she's apparently heavy sound
Me: Good evening, asweetcreamytop. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming general election?
asweetcreamytop: The DUP!
asweetcreamytop: All the way !
asweetcreamytop: Where are you??
Me: I am in Scotland. Are you not in Scotland?
asweetcreamytop: Not now
asweetcreamytop: 😬
asweetcreamytop: And in Scotland if I had the chance it definitely wouldn't be the SNP
asweetcreamytop: That devious bitch
Me: Good evening, IN TO YOUNGER. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming general election?
IN TO YOUNGER: I'm supporting my ERECTION
Me: Is it standing for election?
IN TO YOUNGER: It's always standing. I'm a advert for viagra
Me: Good evening, need abused. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming general election?
need abused: Which ever mp I can suck off
Me: Is there an MP you would particularly like to suck off?
need abused: Any as their assistant
need abused: Dressed like a slutty secretary
Me: Thank you for your input, need abused.
need abused: I need abused pleased
Me: Good evening, Dwarflord 🀴. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming general election?
🀴: Hey, I feel the only option for Scotland to have an influence in Westminster is to align with the party whom had the most block vote potential, which is the SNP. I don't agree with all their policies, but ultimately I feel the bigger picture is a tactical vote against the Tories and as gay men interested in sustaining our rights and those of other minorities the Tory influence must be challenged.
Me: Good morning, Bttm 4 Top. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming general election?
Bttm 4 Top: I don't think any of your business really is it?
Me: Thank you anyway, Bttm 4 Top.
Bttm 4 Top: You do realise that isn't my name.
Me: Good morning, need it in me. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming general election?
need it in me: Probs snp
Me: Thank you for your input, need it in me.
need it in me: Eh
need it in me: What u looking for mate
Me: That, mostly.
need it in me: What about putting it in my arse
Me: Good evening, A πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ΊπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming general election?
A πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ΊπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ: SNP or Labour
Me: Do you have any preference between those two?
A πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ΊπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ: Bit torn
A πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ΊπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ: I've been impressed by the SNP's Brexit response but the anti-trans contingent are awful and in general I think they should be radical
A πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ΊπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ: Or more radical in their manifesto
A πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ΊπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ: Scottish Labour seem a bit useless, but I think the UK wide manifesto is great. And this is a UK election
Me: Good afternoon, Fuck me now. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming general election?
Fuck me now: Labour you ?
Me: Probably the same. Thank you for your input, Fuck.
Fuck me now: Fuck when ?
Me: Good morning, Sugar Daddy. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming general election?
Sugar Daddy: Why you wanting to know that
Me: This is the only thing that gets me off, Sugar Daddy.
Sugar Daddy: Let's see your horny pics then son
Me: [a picture of Jeremy Corbyn]
Me: [a picture of Diane Abbott]
Me: [a picture of John McDonnell]
Me: [a picture of Emily Thornberry]
(He blocked me after that.)

STATISTICS:

Of the 621 users I managed to question before I was banned from Grindr, 215 responses were counted. 96 of these users settled on a party or candidate. Here are their results:

52.1% (50)Scottish National Party (SNP)
21.9% (21)Labour Party
8.3% (8)Conservative and Unionist Party
7.3% (7)Monster Raving Loony Party
6.3% (6)Green Party
1.0% (1)Liberal Democrats
1.0% (1)Democratic Unionist Party
1.0% (1)Sinn FΓ©in
1.0% (1)Citizens for Undead Rights and Equality

(Nobody expressed support for the Brexit Party or UKIP.)

Here are the swings in support since my 2017 poll of Scottish Grindr users:

SNP: DOWN 0.6%
Labour: DOWN 3.6%
Conservative: DOWN 2.6%
Monster Raving Loony: UP 5.5%
Green: UP 1.6%
Lib Dem: DOWN 2.6%
DUP: UP 1% (no votes in 2017)
Sinn FΓ©in: UP 1% (no votes in 2017)
CURE: UP 1% (no votes in 2017)
Communist: DOWN 0.6% (no votes in 2019)

A further 119 users responded, but did not settle on a party.

23 wereΒ undecided, and could not be swayed to pick a favourite.

Some voters who were undecided, or unwilling to express support for one specific party over the others, still gave some indication of their preferences:

3Anything but Conservative
2SNP or Labour
2SNP or Lib Dem
1SNP or Green
1Anything but SNP

In any case where a Grindr user was undecided on their final vote, but still able to pick a favourite party, they were counted towards that party’s tally. However, I also took note of any second preferences they volunteered.

  • 3 SNP supporters are also considering voting Labour.
  • 2 SNP supporters are also considering voting Green.
  • 1 SNP supporter is also considering voting Lib Dem.
  • 1 Labour supporter is also considering voting SNP.

14 polledΒ do not support any party, or stated that they were not going to vote.

14 polled are not eligible to vote. Of those who gave reasons, 11 are not British residents, and 1 trans user is unable to vote due to complications of applying for a name change.

Other responses can be roughly categorised as follows:

12Explicitly declined to answer
11Miscellaneous evasion
9Cryptic or incomprehensible
9General bewilderment
9Too horny to engage politically
7Comedy answers ("S Club", "SuBo", "the assparty" etc.)
5Lack of interest
3Just laughed at me
3Just replied β€œhi” or β€œhello” or something, ignoring the opening question, and proceeded to attempt a conversation like it was never asked

This is about as illuminating as any other poll you’ll read this month. Vote out the Tories on Thursday, and I’ll thank you for your input.

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