The United States is about to hold its 59th presidential election. 4 years ago, I polled Grindr users for the 2016 US election, and have also done several Grindr polls in the UK (the 2019 general election in London and Scotland, the 2017 election in London and Scotland, the 2015 election in Scotland and Wales, the 2019 European election, and the referendums on Brexit and Scottish independence). This time, I asked exactly 2,000 Grindr users across the United States who they think should be leading their country.
The following is a sample of the replies.
(Faces in profile pictures have been censored.)
To poll the country proportionately, in each state I questioned people until the number of responses I received was equivalent to that state’s number of presidential electors – from 55 for California to 3 for Delaware, Vermont, Alaska etc. (As I usually continued to receive replies after I finished polling, the number of responses for each state is usually higher.)
This is a state-by-state breakdown of the vote.
CALIFORNIA (198 polled, 60 responses)
17 | Joe Biden |
| 5 | Donald Trump |
| 4 | Kanye West |
| 2 | Mickey Mouse |
| 1 | Hillary Clinton |
| 1 | Marianne Williamson |
| 1 | Queen Elizabeth II |
| 1 | Me |
| 3 | None of the above |
| 1 | Not eligible to vote |
| 24 | Evasive or unclear |
| 138 | Did not respond |
TEXAS (153 polled, 43 responses)
12 | Joe Biden |
| 1 | Donald Trump |
| 1 | Barack Obama |
| 1 | Miss Piggy |
| 1 | "Yo mama" |
| 1 | Me |
| 5 | None of the above |
| 1 | Not eligible to vote |
| 20 | Evasive or unclear |
| 111 | Did not respond |
FLORIDA (116 polled, 30 responses)
11 | Joe Biden |
| 4 | Donald Trump |
| 3 | Kanye West |
| 1 | Me |
| 1 | Undecided |
| 1 | None of the above |
| 1 | Not eligible to vote |
| 8 | Evasive or unclear |
| 86 | Did not respond |
NEW YORK (117 polled, 32 responses)
16 | Joe Biden |
| 1 | Donald Trump |
| 1 | Undecided |
| 1 | None of the above |
| 3 | Not eligible to vote |
| 10 | Evasive or unclear |
| 85 | Did not respond |
ILLINOIS (86 polled, 25 responses)
9 | Joe Biden |
| 2 | Donald Trump |
| 1 | Jo Jorgensen |
| 1 | Kanye West |
| 1 | Karina Villa |
| 1 | Undecided |
| 2 | None of the above |
| 2 | Not eligible to vote |
| 6 | Evasive or unclear |
| 61 | Did not respond |
PENNSYLVANIA (73 polled, 23 responses)
8 | Joe Biden |
| 2 | Donald Trump |
| 2 | Jo Jorgensen |
| 3 | None of the above |
| 8 | Evasive or unclear |
| 50 | Did not respond |
OHIO (90 polled, 23 responses)
5 | Joe Biden |
| 3 | Donald Trump |
| 1 | Jo Jorgensen |
| 1 | Bernie Sanders |
| 1 | Alicia Keys |
| 1 | "Myself" |
| 1 | Undecided |
| 1 | None of the above |
| 9 | Evasive or unclear |
| 67 | Did not respond |
GEORGIA (48 polled, 18 responses)
4 | Joe Biden |
| 2 | Donald Trump |
| 1 | Kanye West |
| 1 | "My dick" |
| 2 | None of the above |
| 1 | Not eligible to vote |
| 7 | Evasive or unclear |
| 30 | Did not respond |
MICHIGAN (53 polled, 20 responses)
3 | Joe Biden |
| 1 | Donald Trump |
| 1 | Jo Jorgensen |
| 1 | Kanye West |
| 1 | Barack Obama |
| 1 | "Myself" |
| 1 | Undecided |
| 3 | None of the above |
| 9 | Evasive or unclear |
| 33 | Did not respond |
NORTH CAROLINA (47 polled, 19 responses)
5 | Joe Biden |
| 4 | Donald Trump |
| 1 | "Big Dick Party" |
| 1 | None of the above |
| 8 | Evasive or unclear |
| 28 | Did not respond |
NEW JERSEY (47 polled, 17 responses)
4 | Joe Biden |
4 | Donald Trump |
| 1 | Mephistopheles |
| 1 | Undecided |
| 2 | None of the above |
| 5 | Evasive or unclear |
| 30 | Did not respond |
VIRGINIA (30 polled, 16 responses)
5 | Joe Biden |
| 2 | Donald Trump |
| 1 | "My dildo" |
| 1 | Not eligible to vote |
| 7 | Evasive or unclear |
| 14 | Did not respond |
WASHINGTON (41 polled, 12 responses)
3 | Joe Biden |
3 | Donald Trump |
| 1 | Cthulhu |
| 1 | "Your mom" |
| 4 | Evasive or unclear |
| 29 | Did not respond |
ARIZONA (37 polled, 12 responses)
6 | Joe Biden |
| 1 | Donald Trump |
| 1 | "Yo momma" |
| 1 | None of the above |
| 3 | Evasive or unclear |
| 25 | Did not respond |
INDIANA (48 polled, 12 responses)
5 | Joe Biden |
| 1 | Donald Trump |
| 1 | Kanye West |
| 1 | Me |
| 3 | None of the above |
| 1 | Evasive or unclear |
| 36 | Did not respond |
MASSCHUSETTS (48 polled, 18 responses)
5 | Joe Biden |
| 3 | Donald Trump |
| 1 | Sméagol |
| 2 | Undecided |
| 8 | Evasive or unclear |
| 30 | Did not respond |
TENNESSEE (28 polled, 11 responses)
2 | Joe Biden |
| 1 | Jo Jorgensen |
| 1 | Kanye West |
| 0 | Donald Trump |
| 1 | Undecided |
| 1 | Not eligible to vote |
| 5 | Evasive or unclear |
| 17 | Did not respond |
MARYLAND (37 polled, 11 responses)
3 | Joe Biden |
| 1 | Hillary Clinton |
| 0 | Donald Trump |
| 7 | Evasive or unclear |
| 26 | Did not respond |
MINNESOTA (33 polled, 11 responses)
2 | Joe Biden |
| 1 | Attila the Hun |
| 0 | Donald Trump |
| 1 | Undecided |
| 1 | None of the above |
| 1 | Not eligible to vote |
| 5 | Evasive or unclear |
| 22 | Did not respond |
MISSOURI (19 polled, 10 responses)
3 | Joe Biden |
| 2 | Donald Trump |
| 1 | Not eligible to vote |
| 4 | Evasive or unclear |
| 9 | Did not respond |
WISCONSIN (47 polled, 14 responses)
3 | Joe Biden |
| 1 | Donald Trump |
| 2 | None of the above |
| 8 | Evasive or unclear |
| 33 | Did not respond |
ALABAMA (26 polled, 12 responses)
3 | Joe Biden |
| 1 | Barack Obama |
| 1 | Roger Rabbit |
| 1 | "My cock" |
| 0 | Donald Trump |
| 1 | Undecided |
| 2 | None of the above |
| 4 | Evasive or unclear |
| 14 | Did not respond |
COLORADO (41 polled, 13 responses)
3 | Joe Biden |
| 2 | Kanye West |
| 1 | "A big black thug with a 12 inches long bbc who likes to use white boys and make them worship his bbc in public" |
| 0 | Donald Trump |
| 3 | None of the above |
| 4 | Evasive or unclear |
| 28 | Did not respond |
SOUTH CAROLINA (43 polled, 14 responses)
2 | Donald Trump |
| 1 | Joe Biden |
| 1 | Joe Exotic |
| 1 | "Myself" |
| 3 | None of the above |
| 6 | Evasive or unclear |
| 29 | Did not respond |
KENTUCKY (36 polled, 9 responses)
3 | Joe Biden |
| 1 | Kanye West |
| 0 | Donald Trump |
| 1 | Undecided |
| 4 | Evasive or unclear |
| 27 | Did not respond |
LOUISIANA (21 polled, 11 responses)
2 | Joe Biden |
| 1 | Barack Obama |
| 0 | Donald Trump |
| 1 | None of the above |
| 7 | Evasive or unclear |
| 10 | Did not respond |
CONNECTICUT (33 polled, 10 responses)
3 | Donald Trump |
| 0 | Joe Biden |
| 2 | Not eligible to vote |
| 6 | Evasive or unclear |
| 23 | Did not respond |
OKLAHOMA (20 polled, 10 responses)
| 2 | Joe Biden |
| 1 | "Myself" |
| 0 | Donald Trump |
| 1 | Undecided |
| 1 | None of the above |
| 5 | Evasive or unclear |
| 10 | Did not respond |
OREGON (25 polled, 8 responses)
3 | Joe Biden |
| 1 | Donald Trump |
| 1 | None of the above |
| 1 | Evasive or unclear |
| 17 | Did not respond |
ARKANSAS (29 polled, 7 responses)
4 | Joe Biden |
| 0 | Donald Trump |
| 1 | Not eligible to vote |
| 2 | Evasive or unclear |
| 22 | Did not respond |
IOWA (13 polled, 6 responses)
2 | Joe Biden |
| 1 | Donald Trump |
| 1 | Undecided |
| 2 | Evasive or unclear |
| 7 | Did not respond |
KANSAS (21 polled, 6 responses)
2 | Donald Trump |
| 1 | Ronald McDonald |
| 0 | Joe Biden |
| 3 | Evasive or unclear |
| 15 | Did not respond |
MISSISSIPPI (23 polled, 8 responses)
2 | Donald Trump |
| 0 | Joe Biden |
| 4 | None of the above |
| 2 | Evasive or unclear |
| 16 | Did not respond |
NEVADA (28 polled, 6 responses)
2 | Joe Biden |
| 1 | "Your mom" |
| 0 | Donald Trump |
| 1 | None of the above |
| 2 | Evasive or unclear |
| 22 | Did not respond |
UTAH (21 polled, 7 responses)
1 | Donald Trump |
1 | Charli XCX |
| 0 | Joe Biden |
| 1 | Not eligible to vote |
| 5 | Evasive or unclear |
| 14 | Did not respond |
NEBRASKA (29 polled, 5 responses)
1 | Donald Trump |
| 0 | Joe Biden |
| 1 | Undecided |
| 1 | None of the above |
| 2 | Evasive or unclear |
| 24 | Did not respond |
NEW MEXICO (19 polled, 6 responses)
2 | Joe Biden |
| 1 | Alfred E. Neuman |
| 0 | Donald Trump |
| 1 | None of the above |
| 3 | Evasive or unclear |
| 13 | Did not respond |
WEST VIRGINIA (22 polled, 6 responses)
1 | Joe Biden |
1 | "This guy", followed by a dick pic |
| 0 | Donald Trump |
| 1 | None of the above |
| 1 | Not eligible to vote |
| 2 | Evasive or unclear |
| 16 | Did not respond |
HAWAII (13 polled, 5 responses)
1 | Joe Biden |
| 0 | Donald Trump |
| 1 | None of the above |
| 3 | Evasive or unclear |
| 8 | Did not respond |
IDAHO (9 polled, 4 responses)
1 | Joe Biden |
| 0 | Donald Trump |
| 1 | Not eligible to vote |
| 2 | Evasive or unclear |
| 5 | Did not respond |
MAINE (6 polled, 4 responses)
1 | Joe Biden |
1 | Jo Jorgensen |
1 | (Susan?) Collins |
| 0 | Donald Trump |
| 1 | Evasive or unclear |
| 2 | Did not respond |
NEW HAMPSHIRE (13 polled, 6 responses)
2 | Joe Biden |
| 1 | Donald Trump |
| 2 | None of the above |
| 1 | Evasive or unclear |
| 7 | Did not respond |
RHODE ISLAND (17 polled, 7 responses)
2 | Joe Biden |
| 1 | "My dick" |
| 0 | Donald Trump |
| 1 | Undecided |
| 3 | Evasive or unclear |
| 10 | Did not respond |
ALASKA (7 polled, 4 responses)
1 | Joe Biden |
1 | Donald Trump |
| 1 | None of the above |
| 1 | Evasive or unclear |
| 3 | Did not respond |
D.C. (19 polled, 6 responses)
3 | Joe Biden |
| 0 | Donald Trump |
| 3 | Evasive or unclear |
| 13 | Did not respond |
DELAWARE (11 polled, 5 responses)
3 | Joe Biden |
| 0 | Donald Trump |
| 2 | Evasive or unclear |
| 6 | Did not respond |
MONTANA (12 polled, 4 responses)
1 | Joe Biden |
1 | Abraham Lincoln |
| 0 | Donald Trump |
| 2 | Evasive or unclear |
| 8 | Did not respond |
NORTH DAKOTA (8 polled, 4 responses)
0 respondents picked a candidate. |
|
| 0 | Joe Biden |
| 0 | Donald Trump |
| 1 | None of the above |
| 1 | Not eligible to vote |
| 2 | Evasive or unclear |
| 4 | Did not respond |
SOUTH DAKOTA (16 polled, 3 responses)
1 | Donald Trump |
| 0 | Joe Biden |
| 2 | Evasive or unclear |
| 13 | Did not respond |
VERMONT (10 polled, 6 responses)
4 | Joe Biden |
| 0 | Donald Trump |
| 1 | None of the above |
| 1 | Evasive or unclear |
| 4 | Did not respond |
WYOMING (13 polled, 3 responses)
1 | Joe Biden |
1 | Donald Trump |
| 1 | Evasive or unclear |
| 10 | Did not respond |
Overall US-wide Grindr popular vote:
57.6% (179) | Joe Biden |
|---|---|
| 21.9% (68) | Donald Trump |
| 4.8% (15) | Kanye West |
| 2.3% (7) | Jo Jorgensen |
| 1.3% (4) | Me |
| 1.3% (4) | Barack Obama |
| 1.3% (4) | "Yo mama"/"Yo momma"/"Your mom" |
| 0.6% (2) | Mickey Mouse |
| 0.3% (1) | Hillary Clinton |
| 0.3% (1) | Bernie Sanders |
| 0.3% (1) | Marianne Williamson |
| 0.3% (1) | Karina Villa |
| 0.3% (1) | (Susan?) Collins |
| 0.3% (1) | Abraham Lincoln |
| 0.3% (1) | Queen Elizabeth II |
| 0.3% (1) | Attila the Hun |
| 0.3% (1) | Alfred E. Neuman |
| 0.3% (1) | Mephistopheles |
| 0.3% (1) | Cthulhu |
| 0.3% (1) | Sméagol |
| 0.3% (1) | Charli XCX |
| 0.3% (1) | Alicia Keys |
| 0.3% (1) | Joe Exotic |
| 0.3% (1) | Roger Rabbit |
| 0.3% (1) | Ronald McDonald |
| 0.3% (1) | Miss Piggy |
| 0.3% (1) | "My dildo" |
| 0.3% (1) | "Big Dick Party" |
| 0.3% (1) | "A big black thug with a 12 inches long bbc who" etc etc |
| 1.3% (1x4) | Themselves |
| 1.3% (1x4) | Their dicks |
(There were no votes for Howie Hawkins of the Green Party.)
Not counted towards the percentages are the following responses:
| 16 | Undecided |
| 55 | None of the above |
| 21 | Not eligible to vote |
| 255 | Evasive or unclear |
Evasive or unclear responses can be roughly divided into the following categories:
| 50 | None of my business |
| 34 | Too horny to engage politically |
| 32 | Non sequitur/incomprehensible |
| 32 | General incredulity |
| 27 | Who cares |
| 26 | Miscellaneous evasion |
| 19 | Cryptic/vague |
| 12 | "Not Trump" (but declined to commit to another candidate) |
| 11 | Acted like it was obvious but didn't actually answer |
This is the number of states candidates win when only Grindr votes.
Joe Biden: 43 (7 as part of a tie)
Donald Trump: 11 (5 as part of a tie)
Jo Jorgensen: 1 (1 as part of a tie)
(Susan?) Collins: 1 (1 as part of a tie)
Abraham Lincoln: 1 (1 as part of a tie)
Charli XCX: 1 (1 as part of a tie)
A penis: 1 (1 as part of a tie)
In the electoral college, this should translate into the following numbers of electoral votes. In the case of ties, I’ve divided electors evenly between candidates.
Joe Biden: 470.3
Donald Trump: 61
Charli XCX: 3
A penis: 2.5
Abraham Lincoln: 1.5
Jo Jorgensen: 1.3
(Susan?) Collins: 1.3
Finally, here is the electoral map, according to Grindr.
Grindr’s ridin’ with Biden.