On 6 May 2021, the Scottish Parliament will hold its sixth election. I’ve previously polled Scottish Grindr users on independence in 2014, Brexit in 2016, the European election of 2019, and the general elections of 2015, 2017, and 2019. (I also conducted polls for those elections in Wales, London, and London, respectively, plus 2 polls in the United States for their 2016 and 2020 presidential elections.) This time, I asked 992 Grindr users across Scotland who they’re electing to Holyrood.
The following is a sample of the replies.
(Faces in profile pictures have been censored.)
![Me: Good morning, X gets you hard. Which party, or parties, are you supporting in the forthcoming Scottish Parliament election? X gets you hard: Any one except the SNP X gets you hard: [photo of his dick that I've censored] X gets you hard: [photo of his dick that I've censored] Me: Do you have any particular non-SNP parties in mind? X gets you hard: Conservative](https://www.machotrouts.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/22-IMG_2373.png)
![Me: Good evening, D. Which party, or parties, are you supporting in the forthcoming Scottish Parliament election? D: I haven't decided yet. Me: Do you have any preference at this stage? D: Lib Dem's or SNP maybe D: Defo not tori Me: [photo of Tori Amos holding a shotgun] D: ? Me: That's the singer-songwriter Tori Amos. D: Ok?](https://www.machotrouts.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/25-IMG_1438.png)
STATISTICS:
Of the 992 users I managed to question before I gave up evading my Grindr bans, 380 responses were counted. 160 of these users answered with parties (not including joke answers like “The Sex Party” and “The Naked Party”).
Voters in Scottish Parliament elections get two votes – one vote to elect an MSP in their constituency using first-past-the-post, and one vote to elect additional MSPs from broader regional lists using proportional representation. In order not to overly harass users for specific details of their votes, I made the following assumptions: that anyone who replied with only one party was supporting them in both the constituency and list vote, and that anyone who replied with two parties without clarifying which was their constituency vote and which was their list vote was naming them in sequential order – the first being their first vote (i.e. their constituency vote), and the second being their second vote (i.e. their list vote).
This is every combination of parties I received:
| 34.4% (55) | Both votes SNP |
| 16.9% (27) | 1st vote SNP, 2nd vote Green |
| 12.5% (20) | Both votes Green |
| 12.5% (20) | Both votes Conservative |
| 5.0% (8) | Both votes Labour |
| 1.9% (3) | 1st vote SNP, 2nd vote Labour |
| 1.9% (3) | 1st vote Green, 2nd vote SNP |
| 1.9% (3) | 1st vote Labour, 2nd vote Conservative |
| 1.9% (3) | No 1st vote, 2nd vote Green |
| 1.3% (2) | Both votes Liberal Democrat |
| 1.3% (2) | Both votes Alba* |
| 1.3% (2) | 1st vote Labour, 2nd vote Liberal Democrat |
| 0.6% (1) | Both votes Libertarian |
| 0.6% (1) | Both votes Monster Raving Loony* |
| 0.6% (1) | 1st vote SNP, 2nd vote Conservative |
| 0.6% (1) | 1st vote SNP, 2nd vote Liberal Democrat |
| 0.6% (1) | 1st vote SNP, 2nd vote Alba |
| 0.6% (1) | 1st vote Green, 2nd vote Labour |
| 0.6% (1) | 1st vote Green, 2nd vote Communist |
| 0.6% (1) | 1st vote Conservative, 2nd vote Labour |
| 0.6% (1) | 1st vote Conservative, 2nd vote UKIP |
| 0.6% (1) | 1st vote Labour, 2nd vote Green |
| 0.6% (1) | 1st vote Labour, no 2nd vote |
| 0.6% (1) | 1st vote Liberal Democrat, 2nd vote Conservative |
*Neither of these votes is possible – the Alba Party is not standing in any constituencies, and the Monster Raving Loony Party is not contesting this election at all.
Here are the constituency votes on their own:
| 56.1% (88) | SNP |
| 15.9% (25) | Green |
| 14.0% (22) | Conservative |
| 9.6% (15) | Labour |
| 1.9% (3) | Liberal Democrat |
| 1.3% (2) | Alba |
| 0.6% (1) | Libertarian |
| 0.6% (1) | Monster Raving Loony |
And here are the list votes on their own:
| 36.5% (58) | SNP |
| 32.1% (51) | Green |
| 15.7% (25) | Conservative |
| 8.2% (13) | Labour |
| 3.1% (5) | Liberal Democrat |
| 1.9% (3) | Alba |
| 0.6% (1) | Libertarian |
| 0.6% (1) | Monster Raving Loony |
| 0.6% (1) | Communist |
| 0.6% (1) | UKIP |
Additionally, I kept count of unprompted negative mentions of parties (“definitely not SNP”, “fuck the tories” etc):
| 13 | SNP |
| 8 | Conservative |
| 6 | Alba |
| 5 | Green |
| 5 | Scottish Family |
| 4 | Labour |
| 4 | Liberal Democrat |
| 1 | Reform UK |
(3 negative mentions of the SNP, and 1 of Labour, came from users who claimed to be disenchanted former voters.)
Not counted towards the percentages are the following responses:
| 23 | Undecided |
| 22 | None of the above |
| 9 | Not eligible to vote |
| 166 | Evasive or unclear |
And evasive or unclear responses can be roughly divided into the following categories:
| 32 | Miscellaneous evasion |
| 30 | None of your business |
| 25 | General incredulity |
| 19 | Too horny to engage politically |
| 16 | Vague/cryptic |
| 14 | Non sequitur/incomprehensible |
| 13 | Fuck off, fuck you, shut the fuck up etc |
| 9 | Just not interested |
| 8 | Unambiguously sarcastic answers |
This is one of three polls conducted in the run-up to the elections of May 6 2021. The other two are: