London Grindr users on the 2021 mayoral election

On 6 May 2021, Londoners will vote in their sixth mayoral election. I’ve polled London Grindr users twice before, for the 2017 and 2019 general elections. (I’ve also polled Scotland 6 times – on Scottish independence, Brexit, the 2015, 2017, and 2019 general elections, and the 2019 European election; the United States twice – on the 2016 and 2020 presidential elections; and Wales once – on the 2015 general election.) This time, I asked 1,059 Grindr users across London who they want to be their mayor.

The following is a sample of the replies.

(Faces in profile pictures have been censored.)

Me: Good evening, Jogging buddy. Who are you supporting in the forthcoming London mayoral election? Jogging buddy: Ugly

Me: Good evening, ay papi 💋. Who are you supporting in the forthcoming London mayoral election? ay papi 💋: None of your business twat

Me: Good morning, ⬇️FitAssFckDad. Who are you supporting in the forthcoming London mayoral election? ⬇️FitAssFckDad: Sorry this is an app for gay sex encounters

Me: Good evening, open bottom. Who are you supporting in the forthcoming London mayoral election? open bottom: Its easentially uncontested. Theres Khan. And a load of "also rans" - because London is Labour! open bottom: London really should secede from the uk and just become a city state

Me: Good evening, So'clDissonance. Who are you supporting in the forthcoming London mayoral election? So'clDissonance: Sadiq seems to be the safer bet among an odd lineup. Me: Thank you for your input, So'clDissonance. So'clDissonance: I haven't looked into the other candidates too deeply, but I find single-issue candidates to not have much to say or do outside of their pet areas. Yet I kind of wish Sadiq was more effective...taxes are up, housing is still problematic, and petty crime seems to have gone up. Not all of this can be blamed on Covid.

Me: Good evening, deviluno. Who are you supporting in the forthcoming London mayoral election? deviluno: Well was going to be kharn but he stopped me cycling past the london assembly so he lost so I'm withholding my vote in protest.u Me: Sadiq Khan stopped you cycling past the London Assembly? deviluno: had his traffic wombles lined up down there making u dismount ,suppose he dident want us in his photo opp.so if I'm not good enough 4 a picture he can stick his vote,such a fickle would en it.

Me: Good morning, Always swallow. Who are you supporting in the forthcoming London mayoral election? Always swallow: Haven't made my mind up yet who do you recommend Me: I am undecided. Only Grindr can help me resolve this. Always swallow: Like to be suck a large cock As I think about it

Me: Good afternoon, XXL fit top. Who are you supporting in the forthcoming London mayoral election? XXL fit top: The candidate with the smoothest hole Me: Which candidate do you think has the smoothest hole? XXL fit top: Don't know yet. Waiting to see their manifestos

Me: Good morning, Bussyman. Who are you supporting in the forthcoming London mayoral election? Bussyman: Anyone with a bbc Me: Sadiq Khan, Shaun Bailey, Siân Berry, and Luisa Porritt all participated in a televised BBC debate. Me: Is this what you're referring to? Bussyman: Of course

Me: Good evening, Sucker&Rimmer 👇. Who are you supporting in the forthcoming London mayoral election? Sucker&Rimmer 👇: That's for me to know and for you to find out! Me: That's why I asked, Sucker&Rimmer 👇. Sucker&Rimmer 👇: It's between me and the ballot box

Me: Good evening, Covent Garden. Who are you supporting in the forthcoming London mayoral election? Covent Garden: It's a private ballet Me: Thank you anyway, Covent Garden. Covent Garden: None of your fucking business

Me: Good afternoon, pig and cuck. Who are you supporting in the forthcoming London mayoral election? pig and cuck: Looks you got too much time on your hands.... What abt go and fuck yourself

Them: Hey Me: Hey. Who are you supporting in the forthcoming London mayoral election? Them: A+ for originality Them: I'm not voting in the forthcoming London mayoral election Them: But if I should reason my way to an answer Them: I'd say I've met our current Mayor he's a very nice guy. He's, from what I've observed, is a great dad. But his leadership is so far lackluster. Them: I work in criminal law and I can tell you Sadiq's effort (or the lack there of) has lead to minimum change in violent crime in London Them: ^ I care about this issue more than the rights favorite talking argument right now being he's bankrupt TFL Them: Bryan Rose... I dunno I saw him and thought - this dude looks like a Bond villain Them: I think he'd do major damage to British politics Them: In the sense that British politics is already becoming more Americanised and I think Britain's strength is in preserving its culture. Them: As for the Tory party's candidate I don't know anything about him Them: I think the Conservative party does a poor job at marketing their candidates. Them: So as it goes Kahn would be a politics as usual mayor Them: Rose mmm I get that I'm speculating but I'm sure if he wins he'll be the most interesting Them: And the conservative dude (I think he's black) well I think his obscurity isn't doing him any favors Them: So Kahn based on my minimum knowledge. Them: I'm done 🤣

Me: Good evening, SLICK SMOOTH. Who are you supporting in the forthcoming London mayoral election? SLICK SMOOTH: 🤔the cutest one... 🤷‍♂️ Me: Who do you think is the cutest candidate? SLICK SMOOTH: Remind me, who are my options? SLICK SMOOTH: Oh I know, I've erred on the side of what's his name SLICK SMOOTH: Shaun Bailey SLICK SMOOTH: Not so much the looks on this occasion SLICK SMOOTH: More drawn by his manifesto, strong conservative views, and anyone but Sadie Kant. SLICK SMOOTH: He has single handedly ruined London for motorists, and constantly used the excuse that it's not his gouvernment running the country. SLICK SMOOTH: This all said young man, SLICK SMOOTH: To summarise, no political candidate is going to have my best interests at heart...,. So fuck em! SLICK SMOOTH: Have a lovely day, x

Me: Good morning, Open minded fun. Who are you supporting in the forthcoming London mayoral election? Open minded fun: Don't know Open minded fun: Not Bailey Open minded fun: Maybe the one who says she'll be the last I like that ! Open minded fun: Khan is rubbish too Open minded fun: But at least we don't have Boris Me: The one who says she'll abolish the post of mayor, and hence be the last mayor of London, is Valerie Brown; is this who you're referring to? Open minded fun: Yes maybe so ! Why not

Me: Good evening, Mike, slut now. Who are you supporting in the forthcoming London mayoral election? Mike, slut now: Lord binface Mike, slut now: Not a tory, but Khan has been terrible Mike, slut now: Worst mayor ever Mike, slut now: Bring bk red Ken livingston Mike, slut now: N I hate labour but Ken was at least in touch

Me: Good afternoon, Swallow Ur 💦🍆. Who are you supporting in the forthcoming London mayoral election? Swallow Ur 💦🍆: Myself Me: Are you on the ballot? Swallow Ur 💦🍆: Yes I'm the mayor of blowjobs

Me: Good morning, Ok Big Balls. Who are you supporting in the forthcoming London mayoral election? Ok Big Balls: [a photo of his balls, that I've censored] Me: Are they on the ballot? Ok Big Balls: Yes

Me: Good afternoon, Big asses. Who are you supporting in the forthcoming London mayoral election? Big asses: Lool Big asses: U got a big ass Big asses: ?? Me: Somewhat. Big asses: Let's see your ass Me: It's not on the ballot, Big asses. Big asses: Fuck off Big asses: Wired prick

Me: Good evening, huggernaut. Who are you supporting in the forthcoming London mayoral election? huggernaut: Hah. If you're the same chap who has done political polls on Grindr before, I've seen the results on Twitter before, and have greatly enjoyed them! It's a real tough one, to be honest. TL;DR: I will probably end up spoiling my ballot, for the first time in any election. huggernaut: In 2016 I voted Green as my first preference, and Labour as my second. I joined the Labour party under Corbyn's tenure as leader, and became a party activist, but have pretty much given up on it under Starmer, and will let my membership lapse. huggernaut: In my opinion, Sadiq Khan has achieved very little in office, especially on affordable housing. Also, this stance about the 2019 general election result, as well as consistently attacking Corbyn rather than getting behind him sealed the deal for me. Especially given what we're seeing with the current Tory government. huggernaut: [picture of an article headlined "Sadiq Khan says voters 'got it right' by not backing Labour at general election"] huggernaut: The Green Party (in England and Wales, at least) have serious issues with transphobia, having managed to elect a TERF as their co-chair of Green Party Women. huggernaut: Having just looked it up, it looks like Siân Berry is actively trying to distance herself from that, having pledged to make London the most "trans-inclusive city in the world" and protect LGBT spaces. But I still wouldn't want to endorse the party as a whole, under those circumstances. huggernaut: With the Lib Dems still being led by Ed Davey, who was deeply involved in the austerity policies of the Coalition years, I wouldn't want to vote for the Lib Dems either.

Me: Good evening, Head? 🥵. Who are you supporting in the forthcoming London mayoral election? Head? 🥵: The fucking Laurence guy Fuck him man Me: You are supporting Laurence Fox? Head? 🥵: Fuck him man

Me: Good morning, ARTPOP. Who are you supporting in the forthcoming London mayoral election? ARTPOP: Either Max Fosh or Niko Omilana Me: Any preference between the two right now? ARTPOP: Ain't decided yet Me: Thank you anyway, ARTPOP. ARTPOP: Who're you voting for Me: I am undecided. Only Grindr can help me resolve this. ARTPOP: Okay well #StreamARTPOP

Me: Good evening, MEET ME NOW. Who are you supporting in the forthcoming London mayoral election? MEET ME NOW: Ksi xx MEET ME NOW: Adolf hitler hard choice g Me: Unfortunately, neither KSI nor Adolf Hitler are on the ballot. Me: KSI has endorsed Niko Omilana for mayor. Me: Adolf Hitler has not endorsed anybody. MEET ME NOW: I'm going to be the mayor Me: Congratulations, MEET ME NOW. Me: Are you Niko Omilana? MEET ME NOW: Shush MEET ME NOW: Are u on gay shit MEET ME NOW: Like me MEET ME NOW: Dirty daddy MEET ME NOW: I'm going to cum in your ears and watch it come out of ur nose and lick Me: That's an unusual election promise, Niko. MEET ME NOW: Send me dick pic

Me: Good evening, Spittoon. Who are you supporting in the forthcoming London mayoral election? Spittoon: That is an odd question on here. Me: I suppose it is. Spittoon: Unless ones physical attraction is based upon politics. Spittoon: David Kurten

Me: Good evening, Getmegreen! 😾. Who are you supporting in the forthcoming London mayoral election? Getmegreen! 😾: Your mum Me: I don't think she's on the ballot. Getmegreen! 😾: Lol Getmegreen! 😾: Idek who's on this time Getmegreen! 😾: I used to go protests and shit Getmegreen! 😾: But idk now Getmegreen! 😾: After they killed jeremy corbin I lost hope in politics Getmegreen! 😾: He's one the most decent men in politics and they fucking destroyed his name Getmegreen! 😾: I'm literally fucking crying now Getmegreen! 😾: It pisses me off

Me: Good evening, freak nasty. Who are you supporting in the forthcoming London mayoral election? freak nasty: don't care,the system is flawed regardless who wins...the entire works system freak nasty: [confusing and ominous image of what appears to be a cartoon cat next to a figure wearing a skull mask] freak nasty: that's my candidate meet "the moist" Me: Pleased to meet you, "the moist". freak nasty: the moist is for freedom before equality freak nasty: and less government Me: I don't think the moist is on the ballot. freak nasty: exactly freak nasty: the moist lives on the grid freak nasty: off the grid

Me: Good morning, sleaze the day. Who are you supporting in the forthcoming London mayoral election? sleaze the day: Fuck I have no idea. I have only had sex with one of the candidates before. So hard to tell. Me: Juicy, sleazy the day. Which candidate? sleaze the day: Probably won't vote. Me: Was it Count Binface? sleaze the day: To be fair the gut is not standing this time. sleaze the day: The more you get to meet these guys the less impressed I am with each or any of them. sleaze the day: I would love a bloomberg type candidate who has achieved something but one with less traditional boring party lines.

Me: Good morning, FiST 👊🏻 ME. Who are you supporting in the forthcoming London mayoral election? FiST 👊🏻 ME: I hadn't thought about voting Me: Will you abstain from voting, or have you just not considered it yet? FiST 👊🏻 ME: Hi have interest in mayors Me: You have interest in mayors? FiST 👊🏻 ME: Are you the mayor Me: I am not the mayor. FiST 👊🏻 ME: Do you like to fist prole Like me?

Lost messages: Average build bottom guy here saying hi Me: Hi, average build bottom guy. Who are you supporting in the forthcoming London mayoral election? Lost messages: I've no idea I'm a nurse and either way we're always fucked Me: Sorry to hear that, always fucked nurse guy. Lost messages: It's cool on days off so just at home Lost messages: What u got planned Me: This, mostly. Lost messages: Are u into playing with a greedy guys ass

Me: Good morning, Woodie 🍆. Who are you supporting in the forthcoming London mayoral election? Woodie 🍆: What is it to u? Woodie 🍆: Are u campaigning on Grindr? Me: I have an extremely specific fetish for London mayoral elections. Woodie 🍆: There's truly something for everyone on this wretched app Woodie 🍆: Good day

Me: Good afternoon, FeedMeDaddy 18. Who are you supporting in the forthcoming London mayoral election? FeedMeDaddy 18: I don't know Me: Do you have any preference at this point? FeedMeDaddy 18: I haven't really looked into it Me: Thank you anyway, FeedMeDaddy 18. FeedMeDaddy 18: Why did you ask Me: I have an extremely specific fetish for London mayoral elections. FeedMeDaddy 18: What fetish FeedMeDaddy 18: What is may oral FeedMeDaddy 18: ???

Me: Good afternoon, Pirate. Who are you supporting in the forthcoming London mayoral election? Pirate: Willam Belli. Detox.... and Vikki. Me: I don't think any of them are on the ballot. Pirate: Then this country is DOOMED I tell you Pirate: Truthfully, I need to have a look Pirate: But since JC left the Labour Party I truly can't see the point in anything Me: That's understandable. Pirate: At the moment Pirate: I think Siam Berry Pirate: But I need to look at the policy of the Women's Rights Party Pirate: I might consider Mandu Reid unless they are anti trans Pirate: Well done for making me bother to find out lol Me: Glad I could help, Pirate. Thank you for your input. Pirate: Women's Equality Party look like they aren't strongly pro trans so I'll vote for the green candidate Me: Probably worth nothing that Siân Berry suggested that people who left the Labour Party after Jeremy Corbyn's suspension shouldn't join the Greens because she regards them as antisemites. Pirate: Oh you're joking Pirate: Then I'm not voting for anyone Pirate: This shit hole can burn and it won't be at my hands

 

STATISTICS:

Of the 1,059 users I questioned, 293 responses were counted. 74 of these answered with an eligible candidate. 11 of the 20 candidates on the ballot received at least 1 vote. Here are the results:

38 (51%)SADIQ KHAN (Labour)
12 (16%)SIÂN BERRY (Green)
7 (9%)NIKO OMILANA (independent)
4 (5%)SHAUN BAILEY (Conservative)
3 (4%)LUISA PORRITT (Lib Dem)
2 (3%)BRIAN ROSE (London Real)
2 (3%)COUNT BINFACE (Count Binface Party)
2 (3%)MAX FOSH (independent)
2 (3%)VALERIE BROWN (Burning Pink)
1 (1%)DAVID KURTEN (Heritage)
1 (1%)PETER GAMMONS (UKIP)
0 (0%)LAURENCE FOX (Reclaim)
0 (0%)MANDU REID (Women's Equality)
0 (0%)PIERS CORBYN (Let London Live)
0 (0%)STEVE KELLEHER (SDP)
0 (0%)VANESSA HUDSON (Animal Welfare)
0 (0%)KAM BALAYEV (Renew)
0 (0%)RICHARD HEWISON (Rejoin EU)
0 (0%)NIMS OBUNGE (independent)
0 (0%)FARAH LONDON (independent)

Incumbent mayor Sadiq Khan is comfortably re-elected, while Siân Berry, Niko Omilana, and Shaun Bailey at least clear the 5% mark required not to lose their deposits.

Ballots in London mayoral elections allow you to select a second preference candidate. I didn’t ask for second preferences, but two respondents volunteered them anyway – both of them were Luisa Porritt voters whose second preference is Sadiq Khan. As Khan already has more than 50% of Grindr’s first-round votes, second preferences would not be required here.

Some respondents also told me their least favourite candidates. Sadiq Khan is the least favourite of 8 respondents, Shaun Bailey is the least favourite of 5, and Laurence Fox and Brian Rose each the least favourite of 2.

Not counted towards the percentages are the following responses:

40Undecided
28None of the above (inc. 1 spoiled ballot)
9Not eligible to vote
142Evasive or unclear

Only 2 undecided respondents clarified who exactly they were undecided between – one couldn’t decide between Max Fosh and Niko Omilana, and one couldn’t decide between Siân Berry and Sadiq Khan. They were not counted in the results for any of those candidates.

Evasive or unclear responses can be roughly divided into the following categories:

20None of your business
14What the fuck?
14Non sequitur/incomprehensible
13Vague/cryptic
11This is not the place for that
11Too horny to engage politically
10Miscellaneous evasion
10Joke answers (e.g. Baby Yoda, Margaret Rutherford, Brian Paddick etc)
9Why?
9What about you?
8That's an unusual chat-up line
7Fuck off, fuck you, shut the fuck up etc
6Who cares?

 

This is one of three polls conducted in the run-up to the elections of May 6 2021. The other two are:

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