Canadian Grindr users on the 2021 federal election

On August 15 2021, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau requested a snap election, and on 20 September, Canada will elect its 44th Parliament. I’ve polled Grindr in the United Kingdom and the United States on a number of previous occasions. This time, I asked 2,373 Grindr users in Canada who they’re supporting in this year’s federal election.

The following is a sample of the replies.

(Faces and penises have been censored.)

Me: Good evening, fart fetish 🐷. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming federal election? fart fetish 🐷: Ppc

Me: Good evening, my fuck van. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming federal election? my fuck van: Conservative Party of Canada

Me: Good evening, Empty mouth. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming federal election? Empty mouth: I haven't decided yet to be honest just looking to fill a tight ass full of cum and suck a hard cock at the moment

Me: Good evening, jock couple. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming federal election? jock couple: not sure jock couple: you? Me: I am undecided. Only Grindr can help me resolve this. jock couple: conservatives seem to have really changed their tune and i guess the PPC is clearly where all the really right wing people have now landed trudeau is not trustworthy...

Me: Good evening, armpit liking. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming federal election? armpit liking: Liberal armpit liking: U Me: I am undecided. Only Grindr can help me resolve this. Me: Thank you for your input, armpit liking. armpit liking: U like armpit licking

Me: Good afternoon, hungverstop. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming federal election? hungverstop: Is that really important? Me: In the grand scheme of things, probably not. hungverstop: Block Quebecois hungverstop: I'll never vote for liberal either for conservative party Me: Thank you for your input, hungverstop. hungverstop: De nada

Me: Good evening, Foxy boy!. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming federal election? Foxy boy!: I'm not sure my political opinion is something I want to be sharing with someone I've never met over an app that I use to get fucked in the ass.

Me: Good evening, pumpndumpmy🍑🕳️. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming federal election? pumpndumpmy🍑🕳️: Whoever beefs my ass

Me: Good afternoon, Crotch watcher. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming federal election? Crotch watcher: PPC. Maxime has the best crotch

Me: Good evening, bigloadfacial. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming federal election? bigloadfacial: Green party smoke more weed motherfucker bigloadfacial: I'm unvaxed to motherfuckers

Me: Good evening, Mr. Thick. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming federal election? Mr. Thick: Which ever party will separate Alberta from the rest of the freeloading country, and also gets rid of this retarded vaccine mandate.

Me: Good evening, Dawson Cowboy. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming federal election? Dawson Cowboy: Well if a federal election is usually over at manitoba boarder why not vote for A maverick western separatist party to let all parties know how tired the west is not having a say of any kind ?

Me: Good afternoon, Horny guy. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming federal election? Horny guy: It's none of your business asshole Me: Thank you anyway, Horny guy. Horny guy: Cunt

Me: Good afternoon, Sagga. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming federal election? Sagga: T sérieux ? 🥺 je me préoccupe seulement des érections Translation: Are you serious? 🥺 I'm only concerned about erections

Me: Good evening, little Lucifer. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming federal election? little Lucifer: Well, from what I've currently heard comming from each party, NPD is definitely the party I trust the most little Lucifer: What about you? Me: I am undecided. Only Grindr can help me resolve this. little Lucifer: 😂😂 Very noble quest little Lucifer: Over all, NPDs plan is to tax the ultrarich and try to make housing more accessible and affordable for the next generation little Lucifer: There's some very important actions planned about ecology and about how rn we have to act, as a country, to make sure we aren't destroying our nature little Lucifer: Conservateurs are pro convertion "therapy", so yikes, and liberals well.... They be doing middle things like they do

Me: Good evening, Zac. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming federal election? Zac: Hi :) the one that supports LGBT community. What about you? Me: I am undecided. Only Grindr can help me resolve this. Me: Which one supports the LGBT community? Zac: I have been to multiple Canadian gay prides, and each time Justin Trudeau was there to cheer the crowd and show love.

Me: Good evening, Pantyguysissy. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming federal election? Pantyguysissy: Not the libtards that for sure. Justin jihard is a communist f...

Me: Good evening, Rough top. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming federal election? Rough top: Strong start lol Rough top: Liberal here because first last the post exists and I hate it ideologically I'm much closer to the NDP Rough top: Yourself? Me: I am undecided. Only Grindr can help me resolve this. Me: Thank you for your input, Rough top. Rough top: Clearly thank you this was interesting haha Rough top: I advocate for strategic voting unless you're a conservative then just stay home 😘

Me: Good evening, ghost ship. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming federal election? ghost ship: I'm open to trading my vote for services. Who are you supporting and will you be into verse fun? Me: I am undecided. Only Grindr can help me resolve this. ghost ship: Lol, well tbh, I held my nose as I voted blue then sent a cheque to purple Me: This is in reference to the Conservative Party and People's Party, respectively? ghost ship: Are you new? Me: Yes. ghost ship: Ok, well are you happy with current Liberal party and how it is governing? Me: There may be room for improvement. ghost ship: I disagree. I think they are systematically destroying this country's culture and way of life. They are beyond improvement.

Me: Good evening, Todd. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming federal election? Todd: I was brought up with only NDP. JUST SO YOU KNOW I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT ANYONE ELSES BELIEVES. JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE Me: Thank you for your input, Todd. Todd: FUCK OFF

Me: Good afternoon, Blindfold fun. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming federal election? Blindfold fun: YOUR MOM Blindfold fun: BITCH Blindfold fun: FUCK OUTTA HERE WITH THAT BULLSHIT

Me: Good evening, ISukDeepThroat. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming federal election? ISukDeepThroat: Good evening ISukDeepThroat: Not sure who I'll vote for Me: Do you have any preferences at this stage? ISukDeepThroat: No not really with all that's happening in this world if u know what I mean ISukDeepThroat: U enjoy getting blown ISukDeepThroat: [photo of him sucking a dick] ISukDeepThroat: Me sucking one of my straight guys cok after his hockey game

Me: Good evening, fun. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming federal election? fun: def not the one you're voting for Me: What party am I voting for? fun: i really could not care who youre voting for Me: But you're definitely not voting for them? fun: definitely not

Me: Good evening, LickUrDirty. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming federal election? LickUrDirty: Ass, cock, balls mmmm Me: Are these all on the ballot? LickUrDirty: Hell ya, lick ass clean right off the toilet

Me: Good afternoon, topfucker. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming federal election? topfucker: Party of the Fuckers Me: Conservatives? topfucker: Maybe

Me: Good afternoon, joey. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming federal election? joey: None. They are all corrupt. Me: Thank you anyway, joey. joey: Who are you supporting? Me: I am undecided. Only Grindr can help me resolve this. joey: Can I ask if you like total bottom suck sluts? Me: The Liberals? joey: No. Myself.

Me: Good evening, Tophorny4sissy. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming federal election? Tophorny4sissy: What are u talking? Tophorny4sissy: Who care I'm not here for talk about it Me: Thank you anyway, Tophorny4sissy. Tophorny4sissy: Really u just talked to me for ask this question? Tophorny4sissy: Are u working for federal election ? Heheh Me: I am not working for anybody. I do this for pleasure. Tophorny4sissy: I like Justin Me: Thank you for your input, Tophorny4sissy. Tophorny4sissy: No worries Tophorny4sissy: The Indian guy is nice Tophorny4sissy: But I can't trust on some one is using all the time turban 👳 haha Tophorny4sissy: U know they coming to America for better life cause they always say Indian is bad economy and bad place for live Tophorny4sissy: But they are bringing all this same still of life and things make they own country dangueros Tophorny4sissy: Like homofobic they religious is so homofobic Tophorny4sissy: So I can't trust in this kind of ideas Tophorny4sissy: More cause I'm gay

Me: Good evening, ,mature kok. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming federal election? ,mature kok: That's an interesting question to ask on this site. Which do you think we should vote for. Me: I am undecided. Only Grindr can help me resolve this. ,mature kok: Well vote for one of the commie parties just for the fun of shaking things up. Let the main parties know if they dont goven better there are more 'radical' solutions out there Me: Good idea. Would you prefer the Communist Party of Canada, or the Marxist–Leninist Party of Canada? ,mature kok: Do t matter either one would be enough to scare the established parties. Which one calls for shooting the capitalist scum?

Me: Good evening, Howdy. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming federal election? Howdy: Weirdo Me: There's a Weirdo Party? Howdy: You'd think you would know your own party. Me: That is remiss of me. I apologise. Howdy: Good. Now leave me alone weirdo. Stop asking weird fucking questions. Me: Okay. Thank you for supporting my party. Howdy: Creep

Me: Good evening, Northroller. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming federal election? Northroller: Why ? Me: I have an extremely specific fetish for Canadian parliamentary politics. Northroller: Oh who you voting for ? Northroller: I bet you'd love to do things with the mace that The sergeant of arms carries? Northroller: [photo of the Sergeant-At-Arms carrying a ceremonial mace] Northroller: How much do you like daddy's mace ?

Me: Good evening, cool. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming federal election? cool: je suis du Mexique Translation: i am from Mexico Me: Thank you anyway, cool. cool: ok, tu veux du strip-tease ? Translation: Okay, do you want some striptease? cool: ._. cool: Allo? Translation: Hello?

Me: Good evening, Mstuspearntit. Which party are you supporting in the forthcoming federal election? Mstuspearntit: I am the president of the Cocksucking party Me: Are you registered with Elections Canada? Mstuspearntit: Of course Mstuspearntit: Are you? Mstuspearntit: PPC? Me: Am I PPC? Mstuspearntit: Yes Me: I am not PPC. Mstuspearntit: What party? Me: I am undecided. Only Grindr can help me resolve this. Mstuspearntit: You are sully Mstuspearntit: Silly Mstuspearntit: Here is what I think. Trudeau is a pretty boy fake but he is the best of the lot. O'toole is a big tool. Singh is a nice fellow but he won't win over the red necks and Anime is a green tree hugging whack job Mstuspearntit: Hope that helps Me: Thank you for your input, Mstuspearntit. Mstuspearntit: My pleasure. May I see your cock now?


STATISTICS:

Of the 2,373 users I questioned, 537 responded. 144 respondents settled on a party. Here are the results:

FINAL GRINDR VOTE COUNT

31.3% (45)

Liberal Party of Canada

22.9% (33)New Democratic Party
20.1% (29)Conservative Party of Canada
6.9% (10)People's Party of Canada
6.3% (9)Green Party of Canada
5.6% (8)Bloc Québécois
2.1% (3)Communist Party of Canada
1.4% (2)Rhinoceros Party
0.7% (1)Free Party Canada
0.7% (1)Maverick Party
0.7% (1)Christian Heritage Party of Canada
0.7% (1)Animal Protection Party of Canada
0.7% (1)Marijuana Party

Grindr backs Justin Trudeau for a third term.

To poll the country proportionally, in each province I questioned people until the number of responses I received was equivalent to that province’s number of electoral districts – 121 for Ontario, 86 for Quebec, 42 for British Columbia etc. (As I continued to receive responses from each area after I moved on, the final number of responses for each province usually exceeds my target.) Here is a province-by-province breakdown of the vote:

Ontario (826 polled, 202 responses)

14

Liberal

13NDP
11Conservative
4PPC
2Green
1Bloc Québécois
1Rhinoceros
1Communist
18Undecided
17None of the above
8Not eligible to vote
112Evasive or unclear
624Did not respond

Quebec (673 polled, 121 responses)

12

Liberal

7Bloc Québécois
3NDP
2Conservative
2PPC
2Green
1Free
11Undecided
8None of the above
9Not eligible to vote
63Evasive or unclear
552Did not respond

British Columbia (295 polled, 59 responses)

5

Liberal

5

NDP

4Conservative
1PPC
1Green
1Communist
1Maverick
8Undecided
4None of the above
29Evasive or unclear
236Did not respond

Alberta (237 polled, 49 responses)

5

NDP

4Conservative
3Liberal
2Green
1Communist
1Undecided
1None of the above
32Evasive or unclear
188Did not respond

Saskatchewan (93 polled, 31 responses)

3

Liberal

1NDP
1Conservative
1PPC
1Rhinoceros
1Christian Heritage
3Undecided
3None of the above
2Not eligible to vote
15Evasive or unclear
62Did not respond

Manitoba (64 polled, 24 responses)

3

Liberal

3

NDP

2Green
2Undecided
2None of the above
12Evasive or unclear
40Did not respond

Nova Scotia (53 polled, 16 responses)

2

Liberal

2

NDP

1Conservative
1Animal Protection
1None of the above
9Evasive or unclear
37Did not respond

New Brunswick (59 polled, 17 responses)

4

Conservative

1Liberal
1PPC
1Undecided
2None of the above
8Evasive or unclear
42Did not respond

Newfoundland and Labrador (46 polled, 13 responses)

1

Liberal

1

NDP

1

Conservative

1

PPC

1Undecided
1Not eligible to vote
7Evasive or unclear
33Did not respond

Prince Edward Island (16 polled, 6 responses)

1

Liberal

1

Conservative

1Undecided
1Not eligible to vote
2Evasive or unclear
10Did not respond

Yukon (6 polled, 0 responses)

6Did not respond

Nunavut (4 polled, 0 responses)

4Did not respond

Northwest Territories (1 polled, 0 responses)

1Did not respond

(I failed to receive any responses from the 3 territories, as my Grindr account was banned while I was polling them. However, each only comprise a single electoral district, and therefore each had a target of only 1 response; I decided it was not worth making a new account just to pick up those last 3 responses, and left them as is.)

Here is a full tally of non-vote responses:

46Undecided
38None of the above
21Not eligible to vote
289Evasive or unclear

And I have roughly divided the evasive or unclear responses into the following categories:

58None of your (fucking) business
21Too horny to engage politically
19Who cares?
16What the fuck?
16Lol, lmao, etc
16This is not the platform for that
14Fuck off, fuck you, go fuck yourself, etc
14Are you a robot?
13Why?
13Deliberately conflated the definition of "party" as in a political group with "party" as in a social or sexual gathering for humorous effect (e.g. "circuit party", "sausage party", "chemsex party")
12Vague/cryptic
12Illegible
10Immediately rerouted to stock small talk like "hey", "how are you", "what's up" as if I hadn't asked anything and they'd started the conversation
9Not Liberal (but declined to pick a specific non-Liberal party)
8Real parties or individuals who are not running in 2021 (e.g. Natural Law Party, Nazi Party, Joe Biden, Chris Sky, Nicki Minaj)
7Get a life
7Nudes
7Miscellaneous evasion
5I've already voted (presumably people who think I'm trying to change their vote)
5What about you?
4Your mom
2Not Conservative (but declined to pick a specific non-Conservative party)
1Not NDP (but declined to pick a specific non-NDP party)

 

Thank you for reading. Click here if you want to see my other polls.

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